Groundhog Day: Circular Logic Race Report

3:38:57.

BQ. Number. Three.

Yet.... still no moment. No feeling of "I've made it!" It's still not enough.

Once again, there's the pride of having run another PR. I'm really happy that I have *technically* qualified again for the Boston Marathon.... but a BQ -1:03 is presumably still not good enough to meet the the inevitable cut-off time time for 2017. (This year it was 2:28. TWO FREAKING TWENTY-EIGHT.)

Have you heard this story before?

Overall, I'm really happy with how I ran at this race.The big difference this time around is that I ran strong the entire race instead of struggling to finish under 3:40. There was no bonk, no hanging on for dear life after mile 19. Quite honestly, Mother Nature decided to take a big dump on the midwest this weekend.

It pains me to even hint like I'm making excuses but I feel the need to mention that I ran this marathon in 30+ mph winds. I also feel lucky that I completed the race in time I did since it started to hail just minutes after I finished. This is literally what happened at this race in the final hour:

I know, gross.

It really wasn't the best conditions to go for a speedy time but I drove 3 1/2 half hours to run twenty-six 1-mile loops. There was no way I was going to drop out of this race halfway because of some wind.

This is my running into the wind face

My plan for the most part was to run between an 8:05 and 8:15 pace but with the course being a 1-mile loop I would hit the headwind every time around.  I knew that I was going to need to ease up running into the wind and try to take advantage of the wind at my back on the other half and hopefully make up for lost speed. Here's what my pace analysis on Strava looked like:

I'd be laughing if it wasn't so utterly frustrating. Like I said before, despite the wind I still felt so strong! I was executing my plan, feeling relaxed and not stressing out too much about the unfavorable conditions- until the wind began to pick up even more. In the last 45 minutes Mother Nature decided to kick it up yet another notch and each time I went into the headwind it was like running into a wall. Adding to my frustration was that all the faster runners had to run out the outside of the mile loop, making it impossible to run the tangents and adding an extra .4 miles to the course. When I realized how many minutes this was going to add to my race, my heart sank. I've run enough marathons to know that most courses measure long on GPS devices and because of this I always budget an extra .25 miles into my race plan.... I finished with 26.6 miles. Funny enough, this is pretty much exactly the difference between me making the cutoff to Boston.

Hahahahaha. Ha.

Oh hey, I got third female overall!

I won an overall award! That never happens.

You know, it's almost becoming comical at this point. I cherrypick a race that on paper seems to guarantee me the result that I'm shooting for and yet another obstacle gets thrown in my path. I don't know what I could have done differently honestly. If I went out faster I only would have crashed at the end. I feel like my pacing strategy as sound, my nutrition was on point and for the first time in a long time I actually tapered well (thanks vacation!) Much like the Wisconsin Marathon last year, the one thing I missed was the thing I have no control over whatsoever.

I do have to say though that aside from the weather trials and tribulations this race really impressed me. The event had that close-knit "run club" kind of vibe to it, much like the Icebreaker Indoor Marathon here in Milwaukee. The race director and organizers really had their act together and I felt encouraged and welcomed by all the volunteers and spectators. (I had a crew of ladies who cheered me on every loop that I looked forward to every time around!) I also felt like having an aid station every lap really helped me lock down my hydration and nutrition- something I've struggled with in past races.

After mile 16 I kept counting down, "10 laps until Boston, 9 laps until Boston, 8 laps until..." I really thought I had it.

 Goddammit.

I'm registered for the Oshkosh Marathon in a couple of weeks because fuck this I'm a fighter.

Lakefront Marathon 2015- BQ #2

Yay?

It's a been over a month since Lakefront Marathon and I'm finally getting around to absorbing it. I had the best intentions of writing a recap the week after the race when I was recovering but I ended up pretty much diving headfirst into preparations for the inaugural Milwaukee Running Festival (which is another story I need to write***.) That whole business was an absolute whirlwind that didn't really settle down until about a week ago- after which I then retreated into a cocoon of crime television, fantasy football strategizing, beer drinking and naps. It's been kind of glorious, actually.

I need to process things in chronological order though. Thus, the Lakefront Marathon recap comes first.

So back to how this entry started:

Yay?

That's exactly how I felt when I finished Lakefront this year. 3:39:24. Another PR(!), my second Boston qualifier this year(!) yet... still not good enough to make the new Boston cutoff of at least 2 minutes and 30 seconds faster than a qualifying time.  WOMP. I know I run the risk of sounding ungrateful for what I'm able to do, but honestly knowing that another damn 3:39 time will not get me into the actual race really takes the shine off of what was a pretty good race for me.

What went wrong is kind of unimportant at this point. For some reason (I suspect improper fueling/hydration) I started getting really dizzy around mile 18. I felt a little disoriented like I might pass out so I stopped to drink some Gatorade. After stopping a couple more times to get more electrolytes in me I started to feel better but I had already fallen off pace at this point. That's the story. I didn't check all the boxes I needed to check and it cost me in the end.

Yes, I still finished with a smile on my face. I pulled out a sub-3:40 when I thought even that was lost! I'm really proud of myself for not throwing in the towel. But I'm still chasing that feeling. The feeling of getting to that finish line and knowing that I have crushed my goal without a shred of a doubt.  The feeling of knowing I will be able to actually register for the race that I've been trying to qualify for over the past two years. That feeling is something I have yet to experience and it's what drives me still.


*** MRF recap to come and will have a lot more words and feelings to sort through.

PEE ARRRRRR: Madison Marathon Race Recap

What's that sound? Oh it's just me rising from the ashes of my Lakefront Marathon burnout to run a brand new marathon PR! Like I said on on Dailymile yesterday:

Redemption Town. Population: ME

Yep, I beat my previous personal best and squeaked under 3:45 for the very first time- just five weeks after my crash and burn at Lakefront. And it did it on the hilliest, hardest, damn road course I've ever run. If only I had the wisdom to pace myself this smart five weeks ago! Oh, the regret. But let's not dwell. Let's bask.

I knew going in this wasn't going to be another BQ attempt. Unless something completely unexpected happened in the second half, I knew the nature of the course wasn't suited for such fast time for me, especially with a super short recovery time from my previous race. But like I wrote a few days ago, I was pretty sure I could manage at least a PR if I paced myself correctly.

Ugh, pacing. My nemesis. I was determined not to go out too fast so I positioned myself behind the 3:40 pace group and vowed not to pass them. I had just seen Annie, Rochelle and Kim before the start and I was happy to hear they would be out on the course cheering in the final miles. I didn't feel nervous or super excited but rather just... calm. I remember thinking, "I get to do this. Again!" How lucky am I? That was the attitude I carried throughout the whole race. From the first step over the timing mat, I just knew it would be a good day. Unlike the first mile of Lakefront where my body felt "off" and not fully rested, today everything had this neat feeling of smoothness to it.

Back to pacing though. My goal for the first half was to try hold my pace around 8:20 miles. It was hard to hold back since I was feeling so good and I did a decent job for the most part, although I still was a wee bit fast. For the most part the faster miles were due to some downhills but every time I caught myself going to quick I reeled myself back in again. I knew the second half of the course was going to be super hard and I needed to reserve that energy. Absolutely no 8 minute miles like last month. I came here to finish strong.

I crossed the half a little over 1:49:17*- slightly faster than I wanted but not out of control. Plus,
instead of feeling like I was working hard I felt like I was just getting warmed up. Even the big hill on Observatory Drive at mile 10 didn't knock me out at this point! My strategy of "working with the hills" was paying off. The plan was to relax into the hill on the way up and take advantage of the downhill on the other side. Luckily, every big hill we went up had a big payoff going down. Thank goodness for the little things. Also, I saw Steena with her BEST PARADE EVER sign around mile 12. Yay friends!

*Side note about the halfway mark. I hit 13.1 on pace for about a 3:39 and I never saw the 3:40 pace group after mile 2. They were hauling. I don't know if they were trying to bank time for the harder second half? I thought this was an interesting pace choice. Hmmmm. 

After seeing my half split I admit I had the urge to speed up. But I held back. I knew from looking at the map that once we hit mile 16 it would be solid hills until 22. And not little hills either. Big, stupid, hills for 6 miles. The last thing I wanted to do was get cocky and burn out there. I slowed up a bit and kept my eye on the PR prize.

About those 6 miles of hills. That was really evil, you know? For some reason they changed the course this year and took out a long, flat out-and-back at the end that I guess people didn't like. What did they make up the difference with then? MORE HILLS. First we wound our way through Warner Park (I hear people go sledding there? Good. Great. Wonderful.) It kept building and building until we scaled the biggest hill of all in the Maple Bluff neighborhood somewhere before 22ish. I admit I walked parts of these later hills. At this point I felt like it was more important to keep my heart rate from skyrocketing and then power back on the downhill to recover. I had my best mall walker powerwalk on too. One guy told me my walk was faster than his run at that point. Heh.

Elevation map. Gross.

After 22 though, despite how those last hills had slowed me up I still knew I was golden. I could see the capitol in the distance and even with my fuzzy runner math head I knew I had my PR in the bag if  just kept putting one foot in front of the other. The next question was could I squeak in under 3:45? I was definitely running slower at this point but I was passing people left and right so this gave me confidence. Then a little after mile 24 I saw Annie, Ro and Kim! (I didn't know it at this point but Kim had run a PR in the half marathon as well!) It gave me such a boost to see them and I told them I was going to get my PR as I passed. So happy.

I had a big dumb smile on my face until I saw the last hill leading up to Capitol Square. I knew it was coming but I didn't realize just how awful it was going to feel until I was in the middle of it. A half mile climb right at the end, and just when we got to the top we turned away and went back DOWN for a block before climbing up AGAIN to the finish. Oh, the humanity. It was at this point that my Garmin read 3:44 but it wasn't showing the seconds so I didn't know how much time I had left to get in under 3:45. Kesha was playing super loud as they announced my name and I "sprinted" across the finish line.

3:44:57

Holy shit. This year.

A lot of things come easy to me. This has not. Because of what has happened in this past year of training and racing, this crazy goal I have of qualifying for Boston holds even more meaning to me now. But today wasn't about getting to Boston. It was about proving to myself that I am strong. I have improved this year. All my training wasn't for naught. And now that I've learned how to pace myself correctly and run a SMART race? I. Feel. Unstoppable.

I am a babystepper. Following in the footsteps of the great Bob Wylie I will continue to babystep my way to my BQ and beyond. I began with a 4:27 just a little over 5 years ago. Since then I've whittled my way down to 4:07, 3:58, 3:56, 3:50, 3:46 and yesterday, a 3:44. How cool is that? I have a feeling 2015 is going to be a great year.

Fall 50 Relay Recapping

Another Fall 50- but from the relay perspective this time! I swore to only run trail 50s after how bad my IT bands felt on the road last year but the relay was a super fun (and challenging) experience from start to finish.

                                                                        Team Hodor:

Yep, we were a Game of Thrones team. Ygritte, Hodor and Daenerys Targaryen had a blast from Gill's Rock to Sturgeon Bay. Not everyone got the costumes (i.e. Are you guys the Hunger Games?) but the people who did get it were really into it. At one point a guy ran to catch up to me and said, "I just wanted to say I ran with the Khaleesi for a little bit." Heh. I suppose it could have been creepy but it actually wasn't.

My favorite was Bran riding along on Hodor's back:

My goal for this race (other than to have fun) was to take it somewhat easy on the pace but to attack all the hills. Yow, a couple of them were brutal! When I did the solo 50 last year I walked every incline so I really wanted to challenge myself in a different way this year. I walked for about 15-20 seconds at the top of the biggest hill but otherwise I felt pretty darn strong out there. I'm happy some of the hill work I've been doing lately seems to be paying off! Luckily there were a lot of downhills as well so I could airplane arm it on the way back down. 

                                                      Handing off to Sara. *pew pew*

After the race we stayed over in Sturgeon Bay another night drinking beer in bed at the Comfort Inn because that's how Team Hodor rolls. In Ultimate Style.

Between this weekend and the Monster Run weekend I'm officially feeling back on top. Spending time with friends has helped bring me back out of the funk I was in after Lakefront. It's nice to know I have good people on my team. Now I've just got a couple more adventures planned before this year is over! I'm excited to finish 2014 on a high note.

#TBT Fall 50 2013

Me and Ro at the Fall 50 finish last year. My IT bands were busted for a week but I was so happy to run with her that day. I'll be there again this weekend, this time running the relay!

Monster Running

I had the best weekend! This was much needed too after a pretty "blah" week. Saturday afternoon Ava and I got dressed up for the Monster Run:

 Rainbow Dash and the TARDIS

Ava did the half mile Kids Dash with her friend Grace and they put on a show at the finish line:

Wings out!

I was proud of her for participating because really, running isn't her thing. However she wanted to rock her costume and hang out at the post-race party so she put up with the whole running part. I believe her words were something like, "We ran really fast at the start but then we got down the street and were all like UGH RUNNING IS THE WORST." Totally been there. 

After the Kids Dash I ran in the 5.5K race. (I know, I know,  a 5.5K? Huh?) Get this though- I won second place overall female! FULL DISCLOSURE: This was totally a fun run and there were obviously not a bunch of speedsters at this race. Still it felt super good to run at the front! When I was heading back after the turnaround I was all by myself and I got a few "GO TARDIS!" cheers from people. That was neat. Also I think if it had been an actual 5K distance I would have come super close to a PR. I guess I'll just have to race a 5K one of these days. 

This week I'm back to running bigger miles before tapering for Madison. I've continuing to incorporate more hills into my routes and it's giving me some confidence. I'll be in Door County running the Fall 50 relay on Saturday and the plan is to run all the hills (at an "easy" pace.) It should be another great weekend with friends! Yahoo!

Tipping My Hat

This year has been all about the marathon distance for me. (Obviously.) While 2013 was all about running ultras and not focusing on my time, this year started out with on big, bold, FAST, time goal. While I didn't achieve that goal this year, I still feel like I want to end 2014 with me and the Marathon on good terms. Shake hands, if that makes sense.

So I signed up for the Madison Marathon on November 9th. Not as another BQ attempt, but rather I want to finish a marathon this year feeling "good". No pressure or worries about running a specific pace. No staring at my Garmin the whole time and not being in the moment. Madison will be my time to run whatever feels good that day and pay my respects to the marathon distance. I'm pumped to soak it all in and be grateful for what I've gone through this year. It's been an experience.

Words and Feelings: Lakefront Marathon 2014

I'm going to attempt a race recap but everything important about this race doesn't have as much to do with the actual race itself. There was so much buildup to Lakefront Marathon for me this year (for obvious reasons) so the story is more about journey there than anything. From the hardest, most dedicated summer of training I've every gone through to the nonstop motivation and encouragement from friends (you know who you are), the fact that I missed my goal seems secondary.

In January of this year I put a big dream of mine out into the Universe. I said that I wanted to qualify for the Boston Marathon this year. This is something that I never ever in a million years thought I would even attempt so it was a big hurdle for me to publicly say it was something I was going after. Having missed it three times now, on one hand I feel frustrated for building it up so big only to fall short, but I'm also more fired up than ever to smash this goal of mine with an iron fist. There are lessons to be learned from every race and after yesterday the tweaks I need to make to be successful are even more clear to me. (But more on that later.)

First the highlights of of the weekend!

Sara and I went together to pick up our packets on Saturday. She has had my back throughout this whole process. If you don't have a Sara already, I highly recommend you get one.

Then my friend Shiow came in from Chicago for a visit! We ate carbs and laughed and laughed and I went to bed at 9pm while she played Dungeons and Dragons with my family. Right before bed I realized we were out of wheat bagels and she and Jason ran out to the store to get some for me. It may seem like not a big deal but it made me feel special. The next morning Shiow even got up at 5am to see me off, declaring marathon morning "like Christmas for weirdos" and we snapped this photo:

Woo!

Then all the usual race morning stuff. Long bus ride out to Grafton followed by an anxious hour of waiting at the start. I ran into some friends who wished me well and I was feeling good. Then we were off!

I'm not really sure how to explain the race other than it never felt like things were "clicking" for me. I started off a bit slower as planned- although in hindsight probably not enough- but I didn't feel super relaxed. My legs felt a little heavy and I kept thinking maybe I just needed to warm up since it was only 35 degrees and I was wearing shorts. I was running the correct pace for the most part but I've done enough marathons now to know when I'm going to have a great day. In Chicago last year I felt like the first 13 miles were a warmup, 20 miles is where the "race" started and I passed lots of people in the final 10K. (This is the only race where that has ever happened- I need to find that again!) This day, everything just felt...ok. I knew I would make it through the race but to have a blowout PR day in the marathon everything has to be nothing short of AMAZING. 

26.2 miles is a long way though and I wasn't about to write the day off in the first hour of running so I kept trying. Here's the amazing part about running a marathon in your hometown- everyone that comes out to cheer! Leading up to race day I lost track of how many people I would have to look for on the course and where they would be standing. I joked that I needed a spreadsheet to keep it all straight but it was really true. I saw people I knew everywhere! I don't even want to name names because I'll probably forget someone but if you were out there yesterday please know how much you were appreciated. Concordia was especially exciting because I saw my family cheering! I knew that whatever happened they were going to be proud of me. 

I think I reached the half marathon point in a little under 1:48, which was right on schedule but like I said before- it needed to feel like a warmup and it didn't. I had hoped to run miles 13-20 at slightly above goal pace and then "relax" the rest of the way in. Ha. When I tried to speed up though my legs just...didn't. Nothing. The winds were picking up and we hit some hills and it was difficult so I had no choice but to keep doing what I was doing. I knew this was a bad sign but again, there's no point in quitting halfway. 

By the time I saw my family again at 18 I pretty much knew I was toast as I was barely hanging on to an 8:20 pace then. (The bare minimum I needed to run, and it felt hard.) I tried to smile for them when I passed by but later they told me they could tell I was not happy.  I slipped even more into the 8:30s and 8:40s during the next two miles and when I saw friends again at mile 20/21 as I was wrapped up in a lot of messy emotions. The friends I saw at this point in the race were so positive and amazing and I wanted to run faster SO BAD just for them. It doesn't make sense because IT DOESN'T MATTER in the grand scheme of things but I wanted with all my heart to be successful for everyone who said they believed in me that day. Going into today I believed fully I was going to achieve my goal but by mile 22 that belief was gone. 

I walk/jogged in the last 4 miles because at that point the goal was missed and I was in that phase where I needed to come to terms with it so I could hopefully finish with a smile on my face.  At the mile 25 marker my minimum goal time of 3:38 flashed by on the clock. That was rough. Right after that I came by Rochelle, Marty and Tony and I wanted to lose it but at the same time I was so happy to see them because I had no idea I would be seeing anyone I knew this late in the race. I told myself not to be a baby and be strong for the finish so I picked myself up the best I could as I headed in Veteran's Park. I saw my friend Bill cheering and taking photos at mile 26 but after that I just kept my eyes forward and ran as hard as I could to the finish. I was done in 3:50:45. (Here's another reason why I'm kind of a jerk: This time was literally my dream time last year. Perspective.)

I put my hands on my knees and felt my face crumple right away which caught the eye of the medical staff so one guy was on me ASAP. I told him I was fine and just sad that I missed my time but he kept following me and helped me get my mylar cape and water, all while asking me a bunch of questions. I finally convinced him that I'd be ok and he let me go. I suppose it was nice that people are there looking out for you. Immediately after that I ran into a couple more friends who had finished right ahead of me and got some much needed hugs. The first few minutes after a finish is always so surreal so I was happy to see some familiar faces. I tried to pull myself together and went to go find Jason and Shiow so I could get wrapped up in even more hugs. MORE HUGS! Good lord I needed them. 

Ugh. This is longer than I intended. When I look back at the technical part of the race, I realize now that I probably need to start out even slower and build up speed from there. I'm kind of really afraid of beginning a marathon below my goal pace but I suppose it worked for me in Chicago last year so why not try it again next time I go for the BQ? What have a got to lose at this point? Seriously. As for when the next attempt might be I don't know right now. If anyone has a good suggestions for a favorable course, holler at me. I'm all ears. I still think when I do get to where I want to go it's going to be the best, most fantastic feeling ever having gone through all of this. 

Don't Stop Believing

Well. One of these days I'll get my pacing nailed down and be able to finish a marathon strong. My legs felt kind of strange and heavy pretty early on in the race but I kept trying to push it anyway until I just couldn't push it anymore. I'm proud of how hard I trained this cycle and the fact that this was marathon #15 for me- and on the 5 year runniversary of my very first marathon! I was really blown away by how many awesome people I saw on the course today. Everyone really lifted my spirits despite me having have a bad day. I love this event so much and will be back. Now time to decompress, reevaluate and start figuring out why I always have my strongest runs in training. Sigh. Still managed a sub-4 though! Official time: 3:50:45. I am proud. :)

Supported.

In addition to working on myriad of pacing spreadsheets this week (3:38 finish? 3:35? 3:33?),  I also spent some time crafting a spectator spreadsheet for my family so they know where to find me on Sunday along the course.

Did you hear that? MY FAMILY is coming to cheer for me this weekend! And not just at the finish line- but legit driving around to spectate at different spots on the course. I cannot even tell you how happy this makes me. (Although yes, I will try.)

I race a lot. Like, probably one a month, if not more. There comes a point where running another 26.2 seems like it's old news I guess? I hate typing that because finishing a marathon is always a BIG DEAL but I totally understand that it's way less exciting to come cheer for someone the 27th or 28th time they've done something. Not to mention, the times I've asked them to come out and cheer it generally guarantees that race day weather will be miserable for spectating (i.e. 40 degrees and huge gusts of wind at the Soldier Field 10, pouring rain in the woods at the Bewl 15... Sigh.) I joke sometimes that I'm going to need to run a 100-miler to get their attention these days- and I'm only sort of joking. 

It's a good thing that I've always been a solid solo runner. I didn't meet any running buddies until I'd been running for about a year and although I love group runs now, my best workouts and races are definitely when it's just me getting in the zone. I've done many races where I've driven by myself hours to the event not knowing a single soul there, just because it was something I wanted to participate in. Still it puts a little fire in my belly to know that I'll be seeing Jason and the girls (and my good friend Shiow!) along the way on Sunday. Add that to the many friends who have told me they are also planning to volunteer or spectate along the course and I've almost lost count of all the faces I need to look out for this weekend. 

Like I said, I do a lot of races. I'm pretty decent at coaching myself and staying focused when I have a goal on the line. But that doesn't mean that I don't need a little outside encouragement as well from time to time. I forget that I need it sometimes, honestly. But when I do get that extra bit of support from people I love it lifts me up like nothing else.

Weekend Shenanigans and Taper Madness

Well the first week of taper for Lakefront Marathon is in the books. I woke up sick on Monday morning and felt like crap for most of the week. Bluh. I kept telling myself that it was better to be sick now that in 2 weeks. Get it out of the way now, right? Still, it put a wrench in my plans to race the Brewers 10K all out on Saturday. The sicks combined with a hilly course made for a not-so-fun morning for me.  Oh well. I wish I could have had a good race experience ahead of the marathon but I suppose it's more important that my overall training has been on point. Now is the time to trust the process.

Brewers 10K. Don't let my smile fool you.

SUNDAY however was a completely different day. With the help of my friends Deb and Sheila, we organized a "virtual" edition of the Beat the Blerch race, an event happening out in Oregon on the same day that sadly we were unable to attend. Everyone brought snack-y junk food to Sheridan Park and ran/blerched either a 5K, 10K or half marathon. Fun ensued and good times were a-plenty! It was the perfect way to come off of a hard race and just enjoy some easy running with friends. Also snacks. 

The smiles are real this time.

So now we enter week 2 of taper.  Let's keep this train rolling. 

Happy Trails

Trail running! Oh how I've missed ye. Sara and I ran the North Face Endurance Challenge half marathon last weekend and it only highlighted how much I've missed trail running while training for this stinking elusive marathon BQ. The weather out there at Ottawa Lake was nothing less than perfect on Sunday. It just felt SO GOOD to enjoy being outdoors and not concern myself with any sort of pace. I'm hoping after October I can get a couple of good trail runs in once Lakefront is over and before we descend into the next polar vortex. And then next year... I have some plans. Stay tuned!